Sunday, May 6, 2012

Possible Revival?

Well... It sure seems that way.  It's been a while since I last post on this blog, though I'm not even sure if I still have my old blog entries on here especially those from Fall 2006 when I took Engl 93 back at CCSF.  I remember back in high school when I was still using xanga for all my... emotionally charged posts. God, I was a depressed child. Then again who wouldn't be if they got bullied since grade school? haha. *sigh*

It's been a tough road and looking back on it now, I've noticed how much I've changed and how I've grown into who I am today.  From the super depressed, mad at the world, pessimistic child to a more open minded, friendlier,caring woman.  I'm still having trouble with words, but I'm working on that so please bare with me and my horrible writing craftsmanship.

Since my time down here in SJ, its just been a blessing.  I've made new friends, I've found a place where I belong, reconnected with other friends that are in this area a lot, and just rediscovering who I am. If there's somethings that haven't changed its the love and passion I have for the arts, my quiet/shy demeanor, and the first impression of  "Oh, she's cute... but stoic".

I'm actually quite content with how I am right now and I'm not one for changes that happen at a fast pace.  Changes that usually happen at a fast pace or something that I'm not ready for tend to freak me out or send me into a mental hysterical fit. Think Munch's "The Scream". lol.  I know I'm in a better place than where I was 5 years ago for sure.  I cut those out of my life that were hindering my growth and keeping those who are important close while still keeping a safe distance from those that have managed to slip into that dangerous in between.

I'm finishing up my 3rd semester down here at SJSU and so far its just been a great experience.  Made some friends and learned a lot.  I never realized how intense this major was until after I got down here and I must say that its been kicking my ass and pushing me to my limit project after project. It's not a bad thing either especially during my years at CCSF I started slacking towards the end before I transferred.  I'm still procrastinating here and there, but I'm getting better. I'm not totally lazy, though after submitting my portfolio to the review I had to desperately play "catch up" with my work in most of my classes.  yikes.  Hopefully I pass the portfolio and be on my way into the program.  I must admit, I was mortified 10-15 mins after I submitted the darn thing and this was after me dancing around going "YAAAAY! I DID IT! I SUBMITTED A PORTFOLIO!"

Needless to say I carried that sense of dread with me for the rest of the week then it was back to the projects and late nights.  The projects and homework helped me take my mind off the portfolio review, but I had neglected a mountain load of work that I had to catch up on, and I'm still trying to catch up on.

Yikes that's a lot of typing. Well, I'll stop for now and pick this up another time when I can. Yay for rambling. lol.

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